The spookiest, most offbeat story I can think of is the fraying fabric of a united America. Are you shaking in your boots yet?

This tale begins with the American Oligarchy uncurling their long, pointy fingers from a dark corner, summoning you (whites only, though) to JOIN (a church) OR DIE (burning in hell losers who couldn’t afford health care).

Next, a Trumpian Two Minutes Hate at a Muslim “Boogeyman” while a Golem formed from systematic machismo lurks behind every window, every door; separating wives from husbands, and turning friend against friend (an estimated one in 14 reporting they have lost friends over the election).

Beyond the sheer terror of a crumbling separation of Church and State, another horrifying outcome from Trump’s rise to power is his comparison to Tennessee’s own, Andrew Jackson.

On the surface, the two have some things in common:

  • Insane hair
  • Temper
  • Land deals/real estate
  • Campaigned on a rigged system/corruption in Washington
  • Won by Electoral Vote
  • The Hermitage/Mar-a-Lago
  • Can hold a hell of a grudge
  • Reputations based on 20 years before presidency
  • Employed “terrorism” as justification for White Nationalism (Indian Removal Act/Muslim Ban)
  • The “common man” who voted for them suffer(ed) the most (Jackson’s Bank closure which led to the Panic of 1837 to Trump’s repeal of healthcare, tax cuts for the rich, impossible anti-globalist industry promises)

But here is where the real comparisons end friends. You see, Old Hickory is everything the Shitgibbon would like himself to be, but instead Trump is a Populist poseur. Sad!

AJ was actually a man of the people, not a faux champion for the working class. An orphan at an early age, Jackson inherited $300 and sent himself to law school. Both are “theoretical” self made men, but Trump is a marketing concept, a brand – a lie.

Jackson despised “big business” and although the Wolf in sheep’s clothing promised the American people he would “drain the swamp” it appears he is just replacing career politicians (READ: anyone with experience) with his big business cronies. Jackson was a “celebrated” war hero (depends on who you ask) who served in both the House and Senate before his road to the White House. He also co-wrote Tennessee’s Constitution. Trump’s qualifications: millionaire “deal-maker”which has many questioning if he has even read the constitution.

Jackson was a unifier of the American people (unless you were Native). When South Carolina began secessionist talk, Jackson raised an army and threatened that secession meant war. Under Jackson’s presidency, popular vote TRIPLED as he grew democracy in America. To contrast, Stephen Miller’s cries on voter fraud will lead to more voter suppression.

Image result for stephen miller mr burns

Jackson was a man who believed in honor and behaving honorably, while the Donald and his goons can’t stop embarrassing themselves on an International scale. Jackson was the first and only President to get the U.S. out of debt vs. Trump whose proposal to build a 26.1 billion border wall is  not only costly to the American taxpayers, but irresponsible, and dangerous.

No, the orange-faced Scooby Doo villain with the vocabulary of a fourth grader it turns out is NOT like Jackson where it counts, even though Steve Bannon and Giuliani are trying to force that conclusion.

So, what would Andrew Jackson do about Donnie baby? I think he’d ask him to walk ten paces and turn…