W.W.A.J.D.?

The spookiest, most offbeat story I can think of is the fraying fabric of a united America. Are you shaking in your boots yet?

This tale begins with the American Oligarchy uncurling their long, pointy fingers from a dark corner, summoning you (whites only, though) to JOIN (a church) OR DIE (burning in hell losers who couldn’t afford health care).

Next, a Trumpian Two Minutes Hate at a Muslim “Boogeyman” while a Golem formed from systematic machismo lurks behind every window, every door; separating wives from husbands, and turning friend against friend (an estimated one in 14 reporting they have lost friends over the election).

Beyond the sheer terror of a crumbling separation of Church and State, another horrifying outcome from Trump’s rise to power is his comparison to Tennessee’s own, Andrew Jackson.

On the surface, the two have some things in common:

  • Insane hair
  • Temper
  • Land deals/real estate
  • Campaigned on a rigged system/corruption in Washington
  • Won by Electoral Vote
  • The Hermitage/Mar-a-Lago
  • Can hold a hell of a grudge
  • Reputations based on 20 years before presidency
  • Employed “terrorism” as justification for White Nationalism (Indian Removal Act/Muslim Ban)
  • The “common man” who voted for them suffer(ed) the most (Jackson’s Bank closure which led to the Panic of 1837 to Trump’s repeal of healthcare, tax cuts for the rich, impossible anti-globalist industry promises)

But here is where the real comparisons end friends. You see, Old Hickory is everything the Shitgibbon would like himself to be, but instead Trump is a Populist poseur. Sad!

AJ was actually a man of the people, not a faux champion for the working class. An orphan at an early age, Jackson inherited $300 and sent himself to law school. Both are “theoretical” self made men, but Trump is a marketing concept, a brand – a lie.

Jackson despised “big business” and although the Wolf in sheep’s clothing promised the American people he would “drain the swamp” it appears he is just replacing career politicians (READ: anyone with experience) with his big business cronies. Jackson was a “celebrated” war hero (depends on who you ask) who served in both the House and Senate before his road to the White House. He also co-wrote Tennessee’s Constitution. Trump’s qualifications: millionaire “deal-maker”which has many questioning if he has even read the constitution.

Jackson was a unifier of the American people (unless you were Native). When South Carolina began secessionist talk, Jackson raised an army and threatened that secession meant war. Under Jackson’s presidency, popular vote TRIPLED as he grew democracy in America. To contrast, Stephen Miller’s cries on voter fraud will lead to more voter suppression.

Image result for stephen miller mr burns

Jackson was a man who believed in honor and behaving honorably, while the Donald and his goons can’t stop embarrassing themselves on an International scale. Jackson was the first and only President to get the U.S. out of debt vs. Trump whose proposal to build a 26.1 billion border wall is  not only costly to the American taxpayers, but irresponsible, and dangerous.

No, the orange-faced Scooby Doo villain with the vocabulary of a fourth grader it turns out is NOT like Jackson where it counts, even though Steve Bannon and Giuliani are trying to force that conclusion.

So, what would Andrew Jackson do about Donnie baby? I think he’d ask him to walk ten paces and turn…

Demon Weave

You’ve got to love the local news. Channel 4 WSMV’s recent coverage of DEMONIC HAIR WEAVE in Memphis is just the type of groundbreaking journalism I have come to expect from my hometown.

Anyone with black girlfriends knows weave is crazy expensive, and like laundry detergent and pregnancy tests in my old hood, some people steal weave and sell it like drugs (see this interactive map of hair crimes). “To a lot of people, selling hair is like crack,” Tamika Broadnax said. “Everybody is spending money on hair. They’re spending $300-400.”

What started in earnest as an investigation to a spike in crime and tragic murders over hair theft, has transformed into a bizzare occult story.  It appears that many area people believe the case of the spike in hair crimes is due to hair that has been “cursed.” And for good cause. The hair in question comes from India, where many think that it was cursed in a religious hair cutting ritual called “tonsuring.”

I almost fell for it, but luckily News Channel 4 WSMV writes the sort of cutting edge statements that makes me question the truth when they reassure us that, “Dr. Adkins is doubtful demons would possess weaves and wigs.”

Whew! I was worried. And here I thought today would be boring… Welcome to Memphis y’all!

#demonweave
Read more: http://www.wsmv.com/story/31369978/demonic-weaves-believed-to-be-root-of-hair-crimes#ixzz41rNyeVvv

 

Straight Outta Carthage

advisory

1985 saw the rise of of hip hop and hair metal in the music charts, which terrified mothers across the country. One woman decided to do something about it, and her name was Tipper Gore. Tipper, wife of former VP Al Gore of Carthage, TN; created the Parents Resource Music Center (PRMC) which is responsible for the Parent Advisory stickers on every single CD I ever ordered on Columbia House when I was 11 years old.

She, along with several other women whose husbands were in politics formed their own gang, “the Washington Wives,” and set out on their quest to shelter each man, woman, and child’s ears from offensive lyrics about sex, dope and any other Bible sin.

It started small with the Filthy 15 (Wikipedia) which they coined as “porn rock”:

1 Prince “Darling Nikki”
2 Sheena Easton “Sugar Walls”
3 Judas Priest “Eat Me Alive”
4 Vanity “Strap On ‘Robbie Baby'”
5 Mötley Crüe “Bastard”
6 AC/DC “Let Me Put My Love Into You”
7 Twisted Sister “We’re Not Gonna Take It”
8 Madonna “Dress You Up”
9 W.A.S.P. “Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)”
10 Def Leppard “High ‘n’ Dry (Saturday Night)”
11 Mercyful Fate “Into the Coven”
12 Black Sabbath “Trashed”
13 Mary Jane Girls “In My House”
14 Venom “Possessed”
15 Cyndi Lauper “She Bop”

Before the stickers were put into place, the Senate held a hearing where the “offending” porn rock musicians could come to say their piece. Dee Snider from Twisted Sister, Frank Zappa and John Denver showed up to fight against censorship. But we all know how that turned out…

The Washington Wives couldn’t stop there. They needed real live maryrs and created a modern day witch hunt based on their wacky lore.

As a trippy hippie leftover from the 70’s, Tipper and her girls were also concerned about subliminal messages in songs – especially when played backwards. None more plagued by the witch hunt was Judas Priest, who were blamed for the deaths of two teenagers. The two kids reportedly shot themselves after listening to Judas Priest and the going theory was because there were subliminal messages in the lyrics telling the kids to commit suicide.

Here’s a fun list with videos of all songs with allegedly satanic messaging in them when played backwards:

Here’s To My Sweet Satan: The 15 Creepiest Backwards Messages In Classic Rock

The 80’s were such an interesting time. Cocaine is a hell of a drug…

The Mystery of Lyncoya

Did you know that Andrew Jackson never had children of his own, but the brain child of the Indian Removal Act adopted a Creek child? Paradoxical enigma that he is, Jackson sent home a child found on a battlefield (disputed either the Battle of Talladega or the Battle of Horseshoe Bend) with his dead mother and raised him as his own. His name was Lyncoya. Lyncoya received the very best education and had hopes to attend West Point but because of his ethnicity he could not. Instead, he became a saddle maker and died of tuberculosis when he was around 16 years old.

As with anything Andrew Jackson, there is perhaps a darker side to the story.

Historians speculate that Lyncoya may have been brought home as a plaything or ‘pet’ for his other adopted son, Andrew Jackson, Jr. It was not uncommon for African slaves to tour the world in “Human Zoos,” and some think that his initial intentions might have been more along those lines given Jackson’s betrayal of Native Americans just two short years after Lyncoya’s death.

For whatever reason, historians can document that Lyncoya was well cared for, although the romanticism that he warmed Jackson’s cold, black heart may be just that as his body has never been found. In 2003, cadaver dogs searched the property of the Hermitage looking for slave burial grounds and for Lyncoya. While the rest of the family, and even Jackson’s most loved slave Alfred are buried in the same area, but Lyncoya still remains lost today.

Below are the graves of Alfred (buried close but still separate) to the large gazebo-esque monument atop Jackson and his wife, Rachel. The rest of the family lie in the bottom right section of the grave site.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stix Near the River Cumberland

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Photo by Angela Schmidt “While Definitely Not Driving”

A lot of people don’t like it. It’s a whole bunch of seemingly random big sticks in the middle of the newest roundabout that no one in Nashville can navigate.

Nashville traditionally doesn’t like new things. It’s in the midst of a personality crisis right now as throngs of ‘youths’ from California, New York and all points in between rush into our previously ‘big small town.’

Spending money on things like roundabouts and public art is not what old Nashville is about. In fact, there are still a group of Puritans who occasionally put clothes on the “Musica” statues they put in the middle of the old roundabout by Music Row. But the times, they are a changin.’

“Stix” is now Music City’s tallest (and most expensive) piece of public art. It is also our most interesting. The actual work was not done by an artist, but unconventionally by a power pole company, Rains Electric Company, based in Madison, TN.  The German artist Christian Mueller created only the concept.

Mueller wanted the piece to pay homage to the Native American tribes who first walked and hunted the land on which we now each day wreck – literally. He relies on painted wood and natural colors like the Native tribes would have used in their art. There are native wild grasses that will grow underneath and the whole things glows at night. Mueller imagined the piece as arrows that had fallen from the sky, in a kind of dreamy battle of past and present.

 

 

Because Somebody Blundered

In 1918, what is still considered to be the worst railway accident in U.S. history occurred right here in Nashville. Sitting unassumingly in on White Bridge Road in between the Greenway and the Hospital is a memorial.

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Photo by Angela Schmidt

Two trains collided head on, resulting in 101 people killed and 171 injured. One train was heading to Memphis, and the other from Memphis to Old Hickory when “somebody blundered” according to the Nashville Tennesseean paper, and the engineer gave the wrong signal to the approaching trains.

Rounding the Dutchman’s Curve bend of the track, the trains collided around 7:15 am. 80% of the passengers were African-Americans heading to work at the Dupont Factory, which is still operating in a suburb of Nashville – Lakewood, TN (see also Wizard Tree).

The scene is described a little too gruesomely for me, but you can read the original newspaper story reprinted here. I prefer the old way of storytellin’ best – through music.

Hootenany

Well, my heart’s just broken. A word that sounds like it should have traveled on the tongues of the Scotch-Irish immigrants who settled in KY and TN is undoubtedly a Midwest word.

If’n you’ve never heard the word before, today it’s used for a wild party that is thrown together. It has an element of not being exactly planned, where one and all might “raise a ruckus” through hootin’ and hollerin’ all night long.

Here’s a timeline, although no one is quite sure when the word came into use regionally:

1906 – The earliest written use was in a historical novel by Richard T. Wiley set in the 1790’s. The book, Slim Greene: A Narrative of the Whiskey Insurrection, used all sorts of colorful language that is unclear if these are words he thought  people used in the 1790’s, or if he thought these words were ridiculous and that’s what people sounded like back then. All signs point to “hootenany” being a “thing” that you don’t really know the word for.

Some other fun examples of “a thing” he uses are:

  • Conniplicon
  • Majigger
  • Kerdoodlement

“When I got thar,” he said, “she wuz lookin’ hotter’n her oven, an’ wuz a-shakin’ that conniplicon at the lummix, an’—”
“Shaking what?” interrupted Colonel Bayard.
“That hootenanny that she shovels her bread with — that long-handled majigger, you know.”
“Oh, the oven-peel?” asked the Colonel, as if a light had just dawned on him.
“Yes, I guess that’s what they call it. I’ve allus been ust to Dutch-oven bakin’, an’ don’t know much abaout these new-fangled kerdoodlements.”

1940 – A man from Indiana by the name of Terry Pettis moved to Seattle and was working on a fundraiser for the Democratic convention. They needed a name for a party and Terry suggested a name from from home, “hootenany.” Wingding was also in the running.

1941 – The party was a hit and became an annual event. Pete Seeger and Woody Guthrie got invited to play the Second Annual event with their band the Almanac Singers. After the party, they brought the word around on tour with them all the way home to New York City where they began to call their parties “hootenanies.”

1946 – Over the next five years, Guthrie’s career explodes. In an interview with Time Magazine the interviewer asked where he got the word “hootenany.” Loving a good tall tale, Guthrie replied with an outright lie.

He said, “We was playin’ for the Lumber Workers’ Union. We was singin’ around in the shingle mills. There was a lady out West out there in the lumber camp and her name was Annie and so every time they’d have a songfest Annie would outshout all of them. So people got to call her Hootin’ Annie but the name got spread all over and so out there when they are going to have a shindig they call it Hootenanny.”

And that, according to Time Magazine, is when hootenannies began.

To hear the full, hilarious, podcast Lexicon Valley put together on the origins of hootenany, click here.